WHAT MAKES YOU FALL IN LOVE ?

 Sometimes while cringing about my fate, I stop whining and start observing the world around me. How often do we really look around? 

Right now, I can see a couple in front of me. Eating candies and enjoying the warmth of the sunlight in winters, they were chitchatting god knows about what, but they seemed happy, really happy. 

I couldn't help but wonder, what do we have to do to get that? I was 3 years old when I got married for the first time. Okay, it would be stupidity to call that thing a marriage. But when you are just a 3-year-old kid, and you are wearing your wedding dress, taking those sacred vows. Who cares what the world thinks. For you, that fancy dress competition is nothing but a real marriage. For years I thought I was married to him. After some years, when I realised we weren't married in real, I wished we were. I don't know it was him or the concept of marriage. My heart knew how much I wanted it.

Talking about the question, I just arose. What do we have to do to get that sanctity in our sanity? I have made and made and ruined and ruined Jesus knows how many doughs of relationship. What is that secret ingredient I am really missing? 

And the weird part is that no one knows that thing. People who already have cooked the recipe. Even they don't really know how?

After 10 episodes of Sex and the City, three phone calls with a friend living a thousand miles away, an ex-boyfriend and one potential boyfriend, I am back on the question again. When you are gambling for love, what do you put at stake?

My friend who lives in Canterbury went on a little hot chocolate date for brunch. Let me rephrase the whole thing again. My friend, who I used to date once, went on a little hot chocolate date for brunch. He is the most romantic boy I have ever known. If you think Jane Austen is romantic. Then I would describe him as Jane Austen reincarnated in a male body. The epitome of romance. A handsome, intelligent, understanding, single man, running in the street of the UK, finding his Simran. Ready to put everything on the stake for one round of gambling and is still single and alone. 

My ex-boyfriend, whom I was once immensely in love with, thinks he is in love with me. You have to lose it all to get it all. And the only thing he lost was me, which was actually mutual for both of us. In losing him, I lost me. 

Now when I look back. I once had a guy who loved me head over heels. Who respected me and did understand me the way any girl would have dreamed about. Who wanted to give me the forever I always wanted and who is single cycling on the roads of Canterbury looking for a perfect girl who is meant for him. And then I had a guy I once was deeply in love with. The type of love which touches your inner core. The type of love which changes you completely. The type of love you wanna spend yours forever with. And here I am with the same question again.